Questions To Ask On A Ouija Board

So, you've got a Ouija board. That dusty old box from grandma's attic, or maybe a trendy new one you picked up for a laugh. Suddenly, you're looking at that planchette, that little heart-shaped pointer, and a million questions are bubbling up. What do you even ask a spirit? Do you go straight for the lottery numbers? Be honest, we all think about it.

But let's get real for a second. Are we actually expecting profound wisdom from the other side? Maybe a full-blown séance with a spectral Shakespeare? Probably not. Most of us are just hoping for a little spooky fun. A tickle of the supernatural, a shiver down the spine. And that’s perfectly fine!

So, what kind of questions actually make the planchette dance? Forget the existential dread for now. Let's keep it light and breezy. Think of it like chatting with a particularly mysterious, invisible friend. What would you ask them if they were sitting across the table? Probably not about their thoughts on quantum physics. More like, "Did you like that pizza I ordered last night?" (Even though they probably don't eat pizza.)

How to Politely Deal with a Close Talker (6 Quick Tips)

Let's Get Silly With It

Here are some ideas for when you're ready to give your Ouija board a whirl. These are the questions I secretly love to ask, even if I’d never admit it in polite company. These are the questions that usually get a good chuckle, or at least a bewildered stare from the planchette.

First up, the classics. The kind of questions that make you feel like you’re in a cheesy horror movie, but in the best way possible.

"Is anyone there?"

This is the gateway question. The polite knock on the spectral door. You can't just barge in, can you? Gotta announce yourself.

Then, you might venture into the slightly more specific, but still pretty broad.

"Is there a spirit with us?"

This is like asking if the party has started. If you get a "YES," then you know it's go time. If you get a "NO," well, maybe they're just shy. Or maybe they're all at a ghost rave. You never know.

Now, let’s get a little more personal, but still in a fun way. Think of it as trying to get the lowdown on your spectral roommate.

"What is your name?"

This is always a gamble. You might get a majestic, ancient name. Or you might get something utterly mundane. Imagine a spirit named Gary. Or worse, Brenda. No offense to any Garys or Brendas out there, but it’s just funnier to think of them as ancient, ethereal beings.

If you’re feeling brave, you might ask about their past life.

"What did you do when you were alive?"

This can lead to some interesting, albeit usually vague, answers. Maybe they were a baker. Or a knight. Or a disgruntled accountant. The possibilities are endless, and the spelling can be… a journey. Prepare for some creative interpretations of the alphabet.

The "Are You Messing With Me?" Questions

Let's be honest, sometimes the Ouija board just feels like it’s trolling us. So, why not troll it back?

"Are you going to give me winning lottery numbers?"

This one is a perennial favorite. And the answer is almost always a resounding "NO." Or sometimes, it just spells out "LATER." Which, let's be honest, is a classic ghost deflection tactic. "Ask me next Tuesday, human!"

How about the classic "Are you a good spirit?"

"Are you a good spirit?"

This one is important, right? You want to make sure you're not chatting with anything… mischievous. But sometimes the "BAD" answer is just as entertaining as a good one. It adds to the thrill!

And for those who are feeling a little peckish, even in the afterlife:

"What is your favorite food?"

Again, the answers are usually hilariously vague. "ICE CREAM." Or "BREAD." Or sometimes, just a series of seemingly random letters. Is "ZXZXZX" a delicacy in the spirit world? Who are we to judge?

The Truly Unpopular Opinions

Here’s where I might lose some of you. I don't think you need to be asking about impending doom or the secrets of the universe. That's a lot of pressure on a piece of cardboard and a planchette. My unpopular opinion? The best questions are the silly ones.

Ask about their favorite color. Ask if they like cats. Ask if they think pineapple belongs on pizza. (Prepare for strong opinions on that last one, regardless of whether you’re talking to a spirit or your Uncle Barry.)

The real magic of the Ouija board, in my humble, slightly spooky opinion, isn’t in uncovering deep mysteries. It’s in the shared experience. It's in the hushed whispers, the nervous giggles, and the collective gasp when the planchette actually moves. It’s about creating a memory, a little story to tell later.

ASK THE RIGHT QUESTION: Asking the right question can make all the

So, go forth and ask your silly questions. Ask about their favorite era. Ask if they miss Netflix. Ask if they think Elvis is still alive. Because in the end, aren't we all just looking for a little bit of fun, a little bit of mystery, and a good laugh, even if it’s with someone who’s no longer breathing? I think so.