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Can You Put Thorns On A Shield


Can You Put Thorns On A Shield

Ever looked at a shield, maybe in a game, a movie, or even a dusty museum exhibit, and thought, "You know what this really needs? More pointy bits." Well, my friends, that's precisely the question we're diving into today: can you, in fact, put thorns on a shield? It sounds like something out of a particularly prickly fairytale, doesn't it? Like a sleepy princess who accidentally invented medieval defense.

The immediate image that pops into my head is a knight, perhaps a bit too fond of gardening, meticulously attaching rose branches to his trusty buckler. Imagine him, clad in shining armor, but with a faint scent of petunias wafting from his person. His squire probably rolls his eyes every morning. "Sir Reginald, are we sure about the ivy today? The Orcs are expected to be rather… unamused."

But let’s get a little less whimsical and a bit more practical, shall we? Historically, shields were all about defense. They were big, often wooden planks or metal plates, designed to stop swords, arrows, and the occasional grumpy badger. Adding thorns would, logically, make them… well, thornier. And who doesn't love a bit of extra deterrence? It's like wearing a "Do Not Disturb" sign, but with significantly more potential for puncture wounds.

I ran shield slam with Thorn Shield... ITS ACTUALLY GOOD LOL - YouTube
I ran shield slam with Thorn Shield... ITS ACTUALLY GOOD LOL - YouTube

Think about it from the perspective of the person facing the thorny shield. You're about to engage in a bit of friendly (or not-so-friendly) combat, and suddenly, instead of a smooth surface, you're met with a veritable hedgehog of sharp protrusions. It’s a psychological game, really. The shield isn't just blocking; it's actively saying, "Hey, buddy, if you get too close, you're gonna regret it. Like, really regret it. Maybe you should go home and have some tea."

Now, the kind of thorns we're talking about matters. Are we talking about delicate rose thorns, more likely to snag a tunic than deter an axe? Or are we envisioning something more robust, like the spiky protrusions from a medieval fortress's defenses, scaled down and artfully arranged? The latter sounds far more practical, albeit terrifying. Imagine a shield that not only deflects a blow but also leaves the attacker with a rather nasty rash. It’s the ultimate "keep your distance" strategy, executed with extreme prejudice.

The idea of a shield as a passive protector is, of course, the norm. But a shield that actively punishes proximity? That's a whole new level of awesome, or perhaps, terrifyingly effective.

Of course, we can't just strap a bunch of brambles onto a shield and call it a day. There's the matter of attachment. You’d need a strong adhesive, or perhaps some very sturdy rivets. And what about maintenance? A shield adorned with natural thorns would likely require regular pruning, much like a hedgerow that’s seen better days. You can just picture the blacksmith sighing as he hands over a shield, "Just remember, my lord, to trim the hawthorn by the full moon. It’s getting a bit unruly."

Then there's the question of why. Why would someone go to all this trouble? Perhaps it was for a specific type of combat. Maybe against opponents who relied on grappling or close-quarters fighting. A thorny shield would certainly make that… uncomfortable. Or, and this is my personal favorite theory, it was simply for the sheer coolness factor. Imagine the bards singing tales of the warrior with the "thorn-kissed shield." It has a certain ring to it, doesn't it?

We also have to consider the type of shield. A massive kite shield bristling with thorns would be a terrifying mobile barricade. A smaller buckler, however, might become more of a personal, prickly deterrent, like a very angry porcupine held at arm’s length. The visual alone is enough to make you chuckle. A knight parrying blows with a shield that looks like it's been attacked by a particularly enthusiastic swarm of aphids.

Perhaps the most heartwarming aspect of this whole thorny endeavor is the dedication to protection. Even if it seems a little over the top, the underlying intention is to keep oneself and one's allies safe. It’s a creative, if somewhat aggressive, approach to personal security. It’s the medieval equivalent of putting up a "Beware of Dog" sign, but the dog is a shield and the fence is made of sharpened steel.

will thorns 1,000,000,000 work on a shield? - YouTube
will thorns 1,000,000,000 work on a shield? - YouTube

So, can you put thorns on a shield? The answer, my friends, is a resounding and delightfully complex maybe. In the realm of historical accuracy, the evidence might be as scarce as a comfortable knight’s saddle. But in the realm of imagination, in the stories we tell and the games we play, a thorny shield is a fantastic concept. It’s a symbol of fierce defense, a touch of the wild, and a hint of the delightfully absurd. And sometimes, a little bit of absurdity is exactly what makes something truly lovable. It’s the unexpected detail that makes you smile, even in the face of impending doom. Just imagine the satisfying thwack as a sword meets a particularly robust thorn, followed by a surprised yelp. Pure, unadulterated, thorny glory.

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